This is my first post. I'll get to introductions and all that exciting stuff later. But today I felt there was something worthy of sharing with the world. That is, the endless joy of bakery puns.
Every quarter, we have staff awards, one of which is for 'best headline'. A colleague of mine, the lovely Luna, keeps a comprehensive list of the gems we write so we can nominate them when the time comes. Standouts this quarter include: "Bickie lovers Arnott happy" (mine) and a whole lot of others I can't remember. I'll get back to you.
But today I spotted one that was worthy of commendation. It was "Council warms to smell of history in the baking": about the restoration of a historic bakery. I forwarded this to Luna and the following exchange followed (this took place over two working days).
B: One for the list: 'Council warms to smell of history in the baking' NWK
page 5, 23/4, by Ken.
L: He'll get the dough for sure. thanks for sending!
B: yes, it's sure to get a 'rise' out of the other entrants.
L: I don't think the yeastern office can compete, even if they do want a
slice of the action.
B:It's no half-baked headline. A great way to earn a crust.
(Whoever runs out of bakery puns first gets floured!)
L: Uh oh I'd better watch my buns
B: Don't flake out on me yet
L: FLAKE is not a bakery pun. You knead to watch it!!
B: Apologies for flakiness. I batter lift my game. Muffin can stop me now.
L: Scone the crows, that's brilliant.
B: It takes the cake! OK I need to stop
L: Well, I guess that's the way the cookie crumbles
B: I'll 'toast' to that.
L: That's the best pun invented since sliced bread.
B: I am sick and tart of all these bakery puns.
L: So piss off to south morang.
B: Do you think they'll let me loaf around?
L: yeah, but i hear the views there are pretty crumby.
B: I donut think so.
L: You and your pie in the sky ideals.
B: Don't stop me, I'm on a roll.
L: Puns really are our bread and butter
B: Did you say buns? I think it's time to ryes and shine.
L: yep, time to start earning a crust from doing this.
B: That one's already been used. That's barley fair.
L: You're right, it was a bit stale. I'll have to go oat and think of a new one.
B: Especially when these puns are coming every naan-o-second.
L: Wow, that's very international of you. You get pide of place for that
B: I think you'd biscuit off this tangent.
L: Ooh, you sandwiched that in well
B: This is giving me a my grain.
L: You are a well-bread thinker, that much is clear.
B: I'm happy as pie you think that, but I feel you're trying to butter me up.
L: Go jam it!
B: I knew you were a crusty character.
L: It's cause I married a Shepherd ('s pie)
B: Oh, so you're Mrs Potato Head. That's a pita.
L: I feel really flatbread now.
B: Would you like me to leaven you alone?
L: well I am become quite a sourdough old sub about this...
B: D’ough! Time to get pie-eyed then.
L: I am from an upper crust suburb. We don't get pie-eyed.
B: Damn, I accidentally deleted the bakery thread. I think I'm gluten-
intolerant anyway.
*B*
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